I think Lady Gaga is an alien.





You see the funky space-age headgear thing? That's her comm set. And the bubble dress? It's an imitation of her true form, which she takes when she returns to Jupiter (Jupiter is a gas giant!) for holidays. She has no qualms about wearing see-through catsuits because THAT IS NOT HER REAL FORM. And the mask...well, everybody wants to be a ninja. I rest my case.

Okay, time to stop being frivolous! Things I have to do:

1) Fill in random forms
2) Register for FASS Orientation Week! Or there will be too many girls and not enough guys and during OWeek I will be stuck at home like the bum I am. Btw OWeek sounds slightly obscene right. Okay, maybe it's just me.
3) GO FOR MEDICAL CHECKUP. I have to go do the checkup with the SPH doctor, except I kind of can't find my form. Um. Will go look for it later. I'm sure it's somewhere around. Unless I left it in the office ._.
4) Figure out which modules I want. Look, fellow FASS people, I found (okay, Suleng found) the CORS modules! With the days and times and stuff! Now we can cleverly plan our week so that we have lots of slack days.

I think that's all. The modules are really confusing me, must go and figure them out.

On a more frivolous note, I totally have subconscious dyslexia. I don't care if it's not a real condition, I have it. Just now I told Suleng I would 'get bwned' if my mum found out I...misplaced my medical report form. And I didn't even NOTICE it until she asked me what 'bwned' was! NOOOOOO.

Remember the termites?

THEY'RE BACK.

My mom/brother discovered a huge nest/conglomeration of tunnels in my drawer last night. Not the base, but the top part. So quick, go check the top part of your drawers before its too late! Anyway, so they sprayed insecticide and everything, and today I opened my drawer and found about 70 dead termites inside. Which is gross, but not as gross as the fact that I CAN HEAR THEM CHEWING INSIDE MY CUPBOARD. They make this krrk-krrk noise. I actually think there's a huge nest behind/under the cupboard - because they're tiny and why else would I be able to hear them EATING unless there were thousands of them - but I can't check BECAUSE IT IS A BUILT IN CUPBOARD. (Note to self: In future, get as little built-in wooden furniture as possible.) Maybe they're not chewing. Maybe they're panicking and the sound I hear is actually the sound of thousands of little suitcases snapping shut as they prepare to pack up and move out. Yeah.

The international theatrical sensation STOMP is back – fresher, faster and funnier than ever, with brand new routines!

With unstoppable energy and toe-tapping exuberance, STOMP takes the clutter and junk of everyday life – everything from boots and bins to Zippo lighters and tractor tyres… including the kitchen sink - and transforms it into a pulsating, witty, utterly irresistible theatrical event.

To date STOMP has set feet stamping, fingers drumming, adrenalin rushing and feel-good flooding through audiences totalling 14 million across 43 countries, from Las Vegas to Sydney. The show is now in its 7th year in London’s West End and its 16th year on Broadway.

STOMP is a unique multi-award-winning combination of percussion, theatre, dance and comedy that consistently wows audiences and critics alike with its infectious rhythms and ‘pure stage magic’. STOMP will get your pulse racing and leave you stomping for more!

Don’t miss STOMP 09 – Fresher, Faster, Funnier!

Show dates are 6 - 11 October, student-priced tickets are $53 + if we book fast we might get Cat1 seats. Jess suggested a perkachng outing with the ancients and the tots, y/n?

"We changed the lyrics to I Want To Hold Your Hand by The Beatles, now it's very funny! Do you want to hear it!"
"Okay, what?"
"It goes like: When we return from uni/We'll go on a byline spree/And then we'll get married/And leave the company! FUNNY RIGHT FUNNY RIGHT."
"LOL BYLINE SPREE HAHAHA IT'S LIKE YOU ALL ARE CRAZY WORKAHOLICS LOL BYLINE SPREE"
"...That's not the funny part."

Some people just don't have the right sense of humour. Also recently I found out that you can set the office mail to forward the stuff you get to your gmail, and you can set gmail to forward the stuff it gets to your office mail. And if you do both at the same time IT GOES ROUND AND ROUND IN A CIRCLE UNTIL ONE OF THEM CRASHES. Isn't that so cool! :D I wish I'd tried that before I left. Darn.

So they said, prepare a 30-second speech on "长袖善舞，懂得运用人际关系". That was fine, because they said I could do it in English. After I figured out what it actually meant, of course. (Ok, so I wasn't the one who actually figured it out, but pft!, semantics.) Actually I've forgotten what it means, I know it has something to do with the back part, so go figure.

Anyway, 30 seconds, piece of cake, right? I woke up early, wrote my speech, and memorised it. Put on random top and pants and my cute new shoes (unfortunately the cutest part of them are the soles, which nobody can see as long as I have them on) and left the house for the video shoot.

The first thing they asked me when I arrived was: "你有没有跳过舞?" To which, I replied: "Uh, 没有," with a horrible sinking feeling. It turned out that they wanted us to portray a kind of SPH's Got Talent!, so 长袖善舞 MEANT I LITERALLY HAD TO DANCE. They gave me this filmy sparkly orange scarf as a prop. Of course, I can't dance, so they got me to twirl around on stage in circles while trailing the scarf. And run from one end of the stage to the other while flicking the scarf around. And I had to do this over and over and over again, because it was a video shoot and they wanted to take the best one.

It was so stupid ok. I wasn't even wearing a long flowy skirt or anything which would have (hopefully) provided the impression that I was drifting gracefully across the stage. I was wearing pants. PANTS. Ugh. I think they're going to show the video during the scholarship award ceremony. This is so embarassing.

Anyway the second day of the shoot went much better, mainly because it was a group shoot and we spent quite a lot of time planning our live item for the award ceremony. (I know, they are taking embarrassing videos of us, and we still must do a live item. The things I do for my education, right?) It's going to be cool! At the end, we will try to get some person from SPH to come onstage and say something like: "Well done! You have truly proved your worth as scholars! We want nobody, nobody but you!"

AND THEN WE WILL DANCE TO THIS AWESOME SONG.



Different kind of dancing, okay? This is cool and hip. Scarf dancing is not.

I just discovered that apart from the usual, Facebook also allows you to set your language settings in Leet Speak, lingua latina, or English (Pirate)!



Look, Arrplications! Ok, maybe I'm just slow.